Patiala Calling

Patiala is not just another city, situated in the south-east of Punjab; it is one of the princely states also known as the city of newspapers. Just 65 km from the capital city, Chandigarh, it is no less than a jewel in the crown of Punjab.

Known for its art, monuments, cuisine and hospitality, this city is a perfect holiday destination. Home of many eminent personalities, Patiala is the most peaceful city of Punjab, this statement is not backed by facts and figures but my personal life experiences from my four year stay in Patiala.

Patiala is the perfect blend of culture and art, a relatively young city on the shores of becoming the next best thing.

World renowned Patiala peg has become a synonym for a whisky glass filled to the brim. Patiala peg which is said to be 50% greater than a normal peg has found its rightful place on Tantra t-shirts, Bollywood songs and in the hearts of people around the globe.

Rejuvenate your taste buds with Patiala’s toothsome, flavoursome, delicious cuisine. Here is a list of Patiala’s finest eating joints, let your taste buds go gaga over Patiala’s finest delicacies.

·         There is no better way to start your day than a garma garam Paratha. Patiala’s version of “parantha walli galli” can be found opposite to Rajendra Medical College or near the Bus Stand.

·         A huge glass of Kanwal lassi, will tranquilize your senses. The thick, creamy, sweetened lassi is the second best thing in the world. The sheer size of the glass follows the classic example of the Patiala peg. With myriad number of flavours to choose from, there is something for every tastebud. Mango, banana, strawberry, peach no one can have just one.

·         Those with a sweet tooth, the famous Jalebi walla at the Goushalla Road is a must visit.

·         Summers are incomplete without Milk shakes. Fruits shops near Atank in Adalat bazaar are the best in the business. Patiala’s trademark of huge glasses continues with half glass filled with cashew, pista and badaam.

·         Cholle bhature at historic sherawalla gate are always a delight.

·         Patiala 22 No. Pathak, is the buzz spot of the town. What makes it more special is the ‘Bombay Paav Bhaji Walla’, the peak hours begin around 7:30 and by 9 it’s all over. Be the early bird or wait in a queue. The aroma of paavbhaji will mesmerize you and your grueling stomach.

·         The first best thing in the world: Chawla’s boneless cream chicken with rumali roti, and believe me their rumali roti will put your handkerchief to shame. The skilled cooks and their ingenious style of bread making creates finger licking cuisines. Make space for some delicious fruit cream. For those who already have dinner plans, I will suggest a quick bite of their reshmi kabaab.

Green and beautiful Baradari gardens with their fountains, huge trees you can climb on, joy rides for children, flower husbandry are worth a visit. A walk in the park will clear all the dueling thoughts in your mind.

The best way to see the city is by travelling on rickshaws, there is nothing extraordinary in rickshaws but the ride is priceless.

The buck stops here in Patiala:

Phulkari, traditional Jootiyan, Patiala salwaar, colourful Parandas, Bangles and Chunnies embroided in Gold thread, things a master card can buy. The local markets of Patiala lie in the heart of the city, Adalat bazaar, annardana chowk, are abuzz with activity since early morning. When it comes to apparel Patiala has an ethnic blend of new and old, traditional and modern, a long lasting tradition of salwaar and phulkari mixed with the latest brands who have found their abode in this young city.

Patiala with its cafe’s (CCD), hookah joints (Nawabs), fast food chains, local markets is all set to become a big city with even bigger hearts.

If you are coming from far off places reaching the princely city can be difficult as direct connectivity to the city is limited, but Ambala just 54 km from Patiala is a hub of connectivity with connecting trains and buses from nearly every part of the country. Round the clock bus services from Ambala and Chandigarh to Patiala are easily available.

Finding an abode is never a problem, you can easily find guesthouses, reasonable hotels near the bus stand or railway station.

For those who are ready to throw in some extra penny, the Baradari Palace situated near baradari gardens is a perfect place to crash in.

The best season to visit Patiala is Feb-April or October-November. Mid November and mid March collides with Thapar University’s (Patiala’s engineering college) Cultural and Technical fests, the star night is an attraction which can’t be missed. Be it a weekend trip, a weeklong vacation, you can’t ignore the Patiala Calling.


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The Spring Connection

Spring is the season to express yourself and let your emotions run wild; there is no better way than dressing your skin with the latest fashion. In today’s impatient world, nobody gets a second chance; the first impression is always the last.

Things that can score you a few points are hanging in your closet.

Spring is the season to shed the extra load of sweaters, jackets and woolens. A brief window from March to April separates the biting cold from scorching summer, presenting us with a whole new set of fashionable attire thus giving us another reason to go shopping for the latest fashion Couture. For all those men who live for fashion, here is a guide to shine and sweep ladies off their feet with your killer dressing style. A list of what’s Springlacious this spring:

Go Classic.

No more jeans, there is nothing sexy than a man in chinos. The 100% cotton provides you with utmost comfort and the textured colours blend with the festivity of spring. Cuffed hem at the bottom in a contrast colour is icing on the cake. Showcase those sexy legs throughout this spring with hem cuffed bright coloured cotton shorts.

Hold on to your urge to buy baggy khaki chinos; their sheer size gives a feeling that someone else has been doing all the shopping for you. The pleated chinos are a strict no-no this season.

Shoes are a man’s best friend.

It’s too early for sandals, but never too late to add sneakers to your spring collection. From Lacoste’s high-end sneakers to affordable converse; they are available in every size, shape and colour. Break the spell of the typical black, white, brown and grey; show some spring spirit with a colourful mix of green, blue and yellow.

Get your hair in the game.

Nothing is static; hairstyles come and go every other month. Cool hairstyles are always in vogue, but choosing the right one is the toughest part. You have to get it right the first time; otherwise you would be stuck with a horrendous look for the whole month.

Your hairstyle has nothing to do with your clothes, it has a direct connection with your face; your jaw line, features, the texture of your hair and last but not the least the size of your head. Whatever you decide to do with your hair this spring, end the long lasting spell of spikes. Spikes and UPA fell short of spark this year. Be a gentleman and go for a medium cut with side partition (left or right).

Greatest Invention of all time: Mac 3 Razor.

Spring is the time to shed your shaggy beard and go full Monty....err....I mean clean shave. If you are planning a rogue look, at least keep your neck line shaved.

The Boy with the green scarf.

Scarves are here to stay.  Accessorize yourself with light weight soothing colours such as pista green, sky blue and peach orange. There can never be a better season than spring, not too hot, not too cold. Scarves are affordable, and they come in a wide variety of prints and colours.

I’ve got my eyes on you.

Generations may come and go but Wayfarer glasses are forever young. The plastic frame design wider at the top than at the bottom, gives you a look to kill for. Wayfarer have been the favourite of who’s who, John F Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn to name a few, it’s time to join the list.

Who’s holding your pants?

A sleek braided D ring belt completes the set of “Dressed to kill attire”. They go well with chinos and cuffed khaki shorts and the best part is they are easy to unbuckle.

Fashion is all around us, all we need to do is pick the right thing from our closet. I have, have you?

Dedicated to my friend from the west (A big critique of my fashion sense)

http://theviewspaper.net/the-spring-connection/

T(a)inted

8^th march was celebrated as “international Women’s Day” with the pomp and show, which includes hordes of message to one’s female friends, big advertisements in newspapers, celebrities spreading the joy on television and free drinks to all the ladies in the bar.

When everyone was busy writing best wishes messages on facebook , sending bulk sms or getting their female friends drunk on free booze, I was busy smashing cars.

I did my portion of good deed. I smashed 4 cars. Every shattered window, windscreen and broken glasses are dedicated to all the women in the world.

I am a not a wild person (except in bed), I rarely resort to violence not even when provoked, what pushed me off the edge was this news in the newspaper a week ago, where a  girl was kidnapped in broad daylight by three boys in their teens, raped and murdered in the safe haven of their brand new Swift. The car was a gift to the budding teenager on his 18^th birthday.

The sheer volume of such cases has made this incident a mere cliché. The tinted windscreens give such hooligans an added advantage. In India the norms for tinted glasses are 70% transparency on front and back and 50 % transparency on the side windscreens. India being a land of law abiding citizens, you can find plenty of cars with jet black windscreens.

Unlike any endangered species you can find these specimens at traffic signals waiting for the signal to turn green, right under the nose of the traffic police. You can spot them on roads, in parking lots or one might even be in your garage. I never understood the mindset of people installing dark tinted glasses. A dark film has no extra feature than a normal film. A normal film is enough to increase the efficiency of your air conditioner and there are ways to protect yourself from sun, using a SPF 75 sunscreen is one option, sunglasses are another, sunblockers can be purchased from street vendors for few bucks.

Impatience is the new patience and illegal is the new legal.

Cars today have become a safe haven for all age groups, teenagers who cannot find a place alone, make the backseat of the car; their love dungeon, married men indulge themselves in adultery in safety of their dark tinted cocoon. Black Tinted windscreens, Loud Deafening music, their is no stopping this evil machine.

In 97% of the cases the victim knows the offender; it is their known who took advantage of them. No wonder why so many cases are swept under the carpet and never see the light of the day.

A famous psychologist says “the tinted glasses, the enclosed space and the increasing speed of the vehicle provide confidence to the rapist; it provides him a feeling of control and safety.”

Tinted glasses are not the most draconian thing in this world only their merits are a little lopsided. They do protect us from damaging sun rays and salacious gaze.

Here is a four point solution to the problem:

• Government to make stringent rules against tinted windscreens. The fine is just a meagre Rs 100, which is nothing as compared to the money spent on film(tint).
•  Instead of writing tickets for dark tint, cars must be confiscated and the windscreens removed, there and then.
•  Multi National Companies before employing the vendors, making sure that none of the vehicles have tinted glasses, as most of the crimes happen during the odd hours drop and pickups

And the best one is:

•   Taking a pledge that every year on 8^th march you will smash at least one dark tinted car, time to give something back to the society.

What's on your mind?

I can proudly say that I am a product of ‘The 90’s’. I grew up in an era of rugged jeans, short length t-shirts, one night stands, ipod’s, itouch, orkut, twitter and Facebook.

Nothing is private and personal, not even your thoughts, because the moment you log in, you are asked to speak out your mind.

Easy accessibility to net let you carry your world with you.

Sitting on a pot and taking a dump, “What’s on my mind? - I shouldn’t have had that kofta last night...ufff.....here it comes.....Boom Boom Boom!!!”

There was a time when I use to send friend requests to far off places or people, my school friends, college friends, people at work, people I have met only once and even to people I have never met (sexy chicks with minimal clothing in their profile pics). The race to have more facebook friends was in gear. There was no stopping me. The number of your facebook friends was directly proportional to your popularity status.

Today I spend an equal amount of time, not to send new friend requests but to hide friends from my facebook wall. Am I not social anymore? Or have I started making faceenemies(my bad)?

I am amazed by our (humans) ability to misuse everything. What absolute drivel, facebook status has become today. This amazing man (marc Zuckerberg) gave us a platform to speak our mind, to share our thoughts with the world out there, with people sitting miles apart and connect with everybody in real time on a single wall. But after all we are only humans who can’t keep anything sacred for that long and thus starts the abasement of “What’s on your mind”?

Writing a facebook status is no rocket science. A 7 year old can do it. But is it a job well done? Once you type in those words, your thoughts will travel faster than the speed of light and will show up on the screen of hundred’s as notification on their mobile, ipad, iphones, blackberry, and before you know it, the damage is done.

Past couple of nights out of sheer boredom I took a closer look at all my friend’s facebook statuses. With a bachelor’s degree in electronics, I couldn’t decipher the cryptic language in quiet a few. Even Robert Langdon would jump off a cliff looking at such divine cryptography. So without further ado let’s see, what kind of facebook status abuser you actually are.

The Musician:

They are those who will flood you Facebook wall with lyrics of every song they listen to. Music is my bridge to terabithia. Sometimes the lyrics are so inspirational, that you have to share it with the rest of the world. But why the hell would people put “Sheela ki jawani”, “Munni Badnam hui”, “Tujhe dekha to ye jaana sanam” as their facebook status. It’s way over my head.

Avoid this as your facebook status: “pyaar tumhe kitna karte hain.....tum yeh samajh nahi paoge,,,,jab hum naa honge toh pihrwa,,,,bolo kya tab aaoge..............mora saiiyaan moh se bole naaa..........”

The Day Queen and King:

We don’t want to know how proud a mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, boyfriend, girl friend, son or daughter you really are. So putting up status like below is a social disaster.

Avoid this as your facebook status :  3yrs old: "Mommy, I love you". 10 yrs old: "Mom whatever!" 16 yrs old:"My mom is so annoying"! 18 yrs old: "I wanna leave this house". 25 yrs old:"Mom, you were right". 30 yrs old: "I wanna go back to my Mom's house". 50 yrs old: "I don't wanna lose my Mom". 70 yrs old: "I would ...give up EVERYTHING for my Mom to be here with me". You only have 1 Mom. Post this on your wall if you appreciate & love your mom.

I love my mother and the first thing I did after reading this status was give my mom a Big hug as I don’t need a facebook status to tell her how much I care.

The World is a happy place kind:

In 18^th century Alexander Bain invented clock. What we don’t need is a facebook status telling us if it is “good morning”, “good evening”, or if it is time to hit the pillow. Why do you have to tell half the world about it, unless you are telling us, whom you are sleeping with today!

The “Who is john galt?” type:

I feel like going on a killing spree after reading their facebook status.

1. "Don’t ask me how I am feeling today, cause I won’t be able to lie.” “I have been broken in the mirror for so long.”   
2. “Riding on a wave of self-loathing. If only you could understand.  None of you ever will”
3. Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai :) .........   
4. Unable to understand what this anxiety is for........... ~ anxiety is over the broken condom? (if only I could comment)   
5. its too late to apologize...its too late  ~ why would i apologize, you were  horrible in bed so i broke up with you, get over it! 
6. hardest monday morning ever! ~ honey it’s called morning wood.

And the Oscar does to: m loving it................. :) :) :) ~  The blow job you gave me yesterday.

Etymologically imbalanced:

They are the short and simple kind. They will write just one word in their status. Rest will follow in comments. Some examples are as follow:

          1.       “Car”

          2.       Hatred!!!

          3.       Sky

          4.       Sex

It feels like I am in kindergarten again, A for “Apple”, B for “Boy”, F for “Your facebook status sucks.”

Originality Crisis:

Hollywood is suffering from it, bollywood is suffering from it, sharukh khan is suffering from it, and so are you. Be original, it’s not that hard. Close your eyes and think, think for 60 seconds and I am sure you will come up with an original facebook status to put on your wall. Be original because it says “what’s on your mind?” and not “What’s on status shuffle?”.

Patriotic:

The next time you feel like showing patriotism show it on the streets, instead of a facebook page. How can “Happy republic day” be on someone’s mind?

The Ugly Cupid:

They are the Grinch who stole Valentine’s day.

Avoid this as your facebook status: “”You” is everything i needed........(your girlfriend name goes here)”

Mood Singer:

What the hell are you smoking out there? Get a grip.

Avoid this as your facebook status:

      1.       Irritated.....Frustated.....Need a Break.

      2.       Nostalgic.

      3.       I miss you.

They didn’t know:

I can’t blame them, it’s not their fault, they didn’t know about cricinfo. Updating their status every other second, so their friends who have no access to television, radio, or like them haven’t heard about cricnfo, can know the score.

My Life sucks type:

“Confused.....Don’t know where this road leads!!”  , well looking at the status , this road will lead you straight to the ‘facebook lame status’  hall of fame. World is despicable, cruel place to be in, if you want to survive, show how confident and full of life you are and not how insecure, confused, sad, pathetic you really are. If you are feeling that way, pick up your phone, no silly, not to update your facebook status but to call your best friend (jumsumtak is on my speed dial).

Trying to pull the Mubarak:

“Dis is time to bring about d revolution-india against corruption...long live india”  

~ are you trying to pull off what i think it is!!!

The 21^st century Mother Teresa:

This status is close to my heart, not because this comes from my high school sweetheart, but this girl never cared about physically challenged people. Facebook can change people.

Avoid this as your facebook status:

 Physically challenged children are not sick or gross. They only want what we all want, to be accepted. Can I make a request? Is anyone willing to post this and leave it on your status for at least an hour. It is Special Education Week and this is in honor of ALL children made in a ...Unique way

The Blah!

They are beautiful people, not everyone can surmise all they want to say in just three words:

“Blah Blah Blah”

Why on earth you want us to know?

1. “Feeling so lite nd relieved after talking to papa.... :)”  ~ Releasing gas would have done the trick 
2. screwed up!  ~ aage se ya peeche se.

Can someone explain!

Fools and fanatics are always certain of themselves, but wiser people are full of doubts

Fake orgasms, not Facebook Status:

You may not be the creative one among your friends, but be wiser. Even if you are doing a copy paste, don’t make it so obvious. Do go through the below status message because they might have end up on your wall sometime.  

1.   Life is more strict than a teacher, A teacher teaches a lesson and takes an exam But life     takes an exam and then teaches a lesson... ~ is it a tongue twister.
2. The reason why men were made before women is because they had to make a rough draft before perfection.
3.  Alcohol does not make you FAT - it makes you LEAN ... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.
4. It's not that I hate you...Put it this way if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

Hinglish:

A mashup looks good in songs, culture but not in language and certainly not in Facebook status.

Gota head back to Gurgaon tomrw.......yaar office kyu banaya hai logo ne.....ghar par baith kar kaam 

nahi ho sakta kya ......................~ I checked 7 dictonaries but couldn’t find Gota, is it Arabic?

I fell asleep, somewhere between the 3^rd and the 4^th line:

Dear God,
Please give me strength to pay my Income Tax, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Customs Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, Property Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, Water Tax, Professional Tax, Road Tax, STT, Education Cess, Wealth Tax, TOT, Capital Gain Tax, Congestion Levy etc etc etc. And don’t forget Donations, Bribes, Chanda etc. If I have some money left after that I will do business.
Sincerely, an India

~ Bravo

A salute:

Accolades to my two friends: jumsumtak and my friend from far west, as they fall in the category: “Something right is on their mind!”

After going through the list, I realized I am the king of status abuser, so who am i to judge others because the moment we accept the Friend request, we do so in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, to love, to cherish till something better than facebook do us apart. 

Wind Of Change

The wind of change is blowing through this continent. Whether we like it or not, this growth of national consciousness is a political fact.

The historical wind of change speech was made by Macmillan to the parliament of South Africa. It would be wise to say that the winds of change have changed direction and are blowing through Middle East. A huge geo political change is under way.

In 1914 the spark that inflicted the First World War was the assassination Archduke Frank Ferdinand, in 2011 the spark is the self immolation of Tarek el-Tayyib Mohamed Ben Bouazizi, a Tunisian street vendor who set himself on fire, little did he know that his act of self sacrifice would start a fire within thousands of Tunisians who took to streets and overthrew the 30 year old regime of then president Zine El Abidine Ben Ali.

Ben Ali fled the country (cash intact). A ruthless dictator like him could only find refuge in another tyrannical government like Saudi Arabia. The people of Tunisia deserve praise, as they proved the old adage “A government is supposed to be by the people, for the people, of the people.”

The revolution spread like fire throughout the Middle East, giving despots the “hell of their lives”, jeopardising the smooth transitions of their kingdom to their sons.

Not far from Tunisia is the “land of pharaoh”, one of the best tourist destinations in the world. Egypt. The epitome of historical artefacts and culture, free of Islamic extremists begins the March towards democracy.

A march made possible by the social media sites like twitter and facebook. It all started with a facebook page, followed by arrests, and suppression of media.

The Tahrir square became the centre stage of the protests, with millions of people pouring in day and night. The difference between the protests in Tunisia and Egypt was that in Egypt people of all stature took part in the protest. Business men, journalists, writers, doctors, service class, irrespective of their occupation, age, gender , irrespective of their status in the society, they all poured in to topple Hosni Mubarak (The Last Pharaoh).

Experts all across the world were worried as there is no solid opposition party to lead the protest or lead the country if Hosni Mubarak is to step down, but how would there be an opposition in a tyrannical government. The opposition is either under house arrest or expatriated.

The army also deserves the credit, by taking a neutral stand and refusing to fire a single bullet be it rubber or metal at people. This reminds me of the tank man or the so called unknown rebel who stood against the fleet of tanks in China. But who inspired me the most was the man in the tank, who took a stand and didn’t run the man over, who tried moving the tank around him rather than over him.

Unlike Egyptians who put out a brave front, united states of America fall short in this category, there mute stance on the ongoing revolt showed there vested interests with Hosni Mubarak Regime. Israel and Saudi Arabia too backed Hosni’s Rule.

With Hosni Mubarak out of the picture and army taken control of the interim period till fresh elections are held, there lay another issue in the backend. Countries such as Israel and Saudi Arabia will try to cajole the military into taking control of Egypt indefinitely. After all, the transition of Egypt to a democratic nation is still not complete. From a Dictator regime it has landed into military one.

Not so far away from Egypt lies Algeria and Bahrain where revolt has sprung up against the ensconced Kings.  

Down South of Egypt lies a country where boundaries are being drawn to divide it into Northern Sudan and Southern Sudan. Africa’s largest country to be split up, into Muslim majority Northern Sudan and oil rich Southern Sudan. Let’s hope these winds of change bring peace and prosperity in the land of savannas, jungles and deserts. 

Engaged with Arranged

Reality struck me on a Saturday afternoon, when at 2:30 pm my parents asked me the inevitable question. Should we start looking for a girl for you? It struck me like a bolt of lightning. A sharp painful shiver ran throughout my body like i was stung by tens and thousands of jelly fish.

It all started in 1997, ‘Dil to pagal hai’ made me believe in soul mates and since then I have been the Romeo who roam the streets at midnight on Valentine’s Day whistling the anthem, believing that somewhere my girl is waiting for me. Coming Valentine’s Day, I marked the 23^rd anniversary of my loneliness. Cupid miss fired again; no wonder he never gets to compete in Olympics.

Some are happy with their single status; to me they are the biggest liars. Deep down inside, we all need someone to love and getting a dog is not the option. Some hide their single status with “I don’t care about Valentine’s day” or “I am proud to single” status messages. This year was no different with people flooding my wall with “Happy Single day’s messages”. But this year we touched new heights of foolishness, people tagging each other in ‘teddy bear’ bearing pics, even boys were tagging each other and singing the happy Valentine’s Day carol.

But this Valentine’s Day was special because I let go of the only person I could imagine spending my life with. I let go of My Soul Sister. I let go of any possibility of our future together. This time there was no regret, shame or pain like the last time when I had to let go of the girl I was in love with for past 14 years. This time I was self-complacent. You might wonder why let go of someone who is so near to your heart.

Truth is the acrid cocktail that we have to consume one way or other. In real life, not every childhood friend would turn out to be Josephine Potter. “For every Dawson there is a Joey” is an old fashioned adage that has lost its significance over time. No matter how hard you try, you can never make a person fall in love with you.

Can we be friends with someone and not fall for them? According to jumsumtak (a good friend of mine) the answer is no, and was he right!! I have never seen a man so sure of things, listening to him is like epiphany every day.

Thanks, to my new found passion for twitter, i might come through. After all who needs love, when you have friends like jumsumtak, you can grow old with friends, all you have to do is pull yourself together and fight this day with every ounce of strength in your body.

When the going gets tough, keep a tissue paper and “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen handy, and cry it out loud. It was during this weak moment when i picked up my phone, dialled home and said “Yes, I am ready to marry Malhotra Uncle’s daughter.”

P.S : This post is dedicated to Grammy award winner Lady gaga (girl I let go)!

Food Inc.

A question: What’s the second best thing in the world?

Well we all agree on the best thing in the world, cause if you don’t, then either you are a 6 year old or you have devoted yourself to the service of god. But dilemma soaks in when we have to ponder on the second best thing in the world. Well choices may differ but I am dam sure that at least 1 % of the people will agree with me.

The second best thing in the world is none other than the KFC’s Zinger Burger. The soft, crunchy, all meat no bone, delicious chicken piece sandwiched between the buns dressed with lettuce and mayonnaise. It’s the only other thing that can get an orgasmic sound out of my mouth.

I can’t imagine ‘a life’ without it. I can’t imagine moving to a city where they don’t serve Kentucky fried chicken. This could be a reason why I never watch those horrendous videos that surface on our facebook page and spam our mail boxes. “Watch the video an you will never eat chicken again”. These videos are nothing but footage of assembling lines of food processing companies from where our chicken comes.

What changed over the years?

In USA Mc Donald is the largest consumer of beef, potato, lettuce and apples (god knows what they do with it). Over the years there has been a huge shift in the food processing market in US. Earlier 25% of the food processing business was controlled by five major giants but now 80% of the business is controlled by four companies. It’s like these four companies control the whole food supply chain. The tremendous growth is the result of the ever increasing demand of products in the market. A simple supply demand system.

To full fill the demand mc Donald brothers revolutionised the way food was prepared and served. No one man was doing all the job, instead he was to do just one job all the time, they adopted the assembly line formulae in their kitchen, this way it was fast, efficient and the labour was cheap as no special skills were required and every single person was replaceable. But that wasn’t the only thing that changed. People wanted more meat on their chicken breast and hence changed the anatomy of chicken as we know it. They were made fat, so that they can’t bear their own weight. Along with the biological changes came new and improved chicken houses. A place with windows and light was replaced with dark pipe ventilated chicken houses, where the chicken never saw the light of the day.     It’s amazing how man can play God, changing not just changing the bone mass ratio but drastically reducing the lifespan of a chicken. And hence mankind with its overgrowing hunger changed the good old picture perfect farm with chickens running all around into dingy, dark chicken houses where they spend their ephemeral life squalidly.

At a place where thousands of chicken are raised, do we look for the rotten apples- the infected ones before slaughtering them. I guess not. The result being, the sick and infected one gets mixed with the healthy lot and down the line into our burgers. So the next time when you are having a chicken burger keep in mind that it might not be the healthiest cock after all. But what are the odds, let us be reasonable here as Nobody has the time or patience to hand pick and check every chicken before it is processed. After all what are the chances of getting sick with a cock in your mouth.

If you look at a food processing plant, well the chances are one in a million as no one would let you go near it, let alone inside, you will find it is no different than an auto manufacturing or consumer goods manufacturing plant, a lot more sordid.

Why you should be worried now?

We have been consuming meat since ever, then why worry now? It’s because of the corn. The corn they have been feeding our cattle. Gone are the days of the famous cliché when cows eat grass. So don’t be surprised when they change the kindergarten books depicting cow eating corn. US is the largest producer of corn, and a large amount of it goes to CAFO (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations). There is a fine network of railroad to transport all the corn to these feeding grounds. So what’s the big deal, grass/corn they are one and the same thing. Not, if the corn produces the deadly e coli.

This came to light when e coli poisoning started showing its effect. A six year old child died of e coli poisoning after having a hamburger. Cattles fed on corn instead of grass develop e coli which is passed down the food chain.

Human mind have a solution for every problem and we started using ammonia to kill e coli. Imagine, Ammonia. The next time you eat a hamburger don’t worry about e coli, because it has been gotten rid of by Ammonia.

Today corn is the most produced crop in the world. Corn is everywhere. 90% of the products in the market corn in some form, be it soaps, shampoos, chips, ketchup, cheese, batteries, peanut butter, coke, jelly, syrup, juice, charcoal, diapers, mortin, fastfood, they are used to feed the chicken, cows and even fish. We are teaching fish to eat corn.

Why eat burgers?

Why would anyone eat a hamburger on a daily basis? Because it’s cheap, cheaper than the vegetables. In 1$ you can get a hamburger that could be your brunch, lunch or dinner. We live in a world where a healthy lifestyle is a thing for the rich and famous.

The bigger question.

Why is USA protecting the meat processing companies? Why don’t we have the right to know what inside our food?

In USA meat producing companies are exempted to show the origin of the product on their bags. So when picking up a meat from a supermarket, you have no right to know if it’s from local farm or Mexico.

The fast food companies are exempted to show calories on their products, so you have no right to know how many calories are there in you burger or french-fries.

Can we turn vegetarians overnight? Can the horrendous food processing footage make us go all veggie? Man is an omnivorous being. I would never give up chicken. All I want is my chicken to be killed with dignity and processed in a fine manner. Am I asking for too much?

Adultery for Dummies

 His only fault was being born with a penis. A well respected citizen of the society, a man who paid his taxes, provides for his family, good with his friends, nice to his employees, but now serving time in a 50 by 50 cell with not so respectable citizens of the society. His one and only mistake besides the one mentioned in the beginning was: to commit adultery.

Adultery, the word comes from latin adulterium which means to pollute, but we are not here to discuss it’s etymology, we are not here to discuss the serious implications of adultery on society or family but how adultery can land a man and a man only from the lascivious ongoing action to prison.

What ruined this man’s life? His decision of sleeping with other woman?  Nah!

It was another ill-conceived law, Section 497 of Indian penal code. A law which put man behind bars and sets the woman, an equal accomplice, free as a jay bird, as they don’t find her an abettor in this inglorious act even though adultery or philandery (as some may call it) happens with full consent of both the sexes and men may even be lured into it by a woman’s voluptuous figure. Can you blame them :P

According to section 497 in the Indian penal code:

“Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor.”

In a world where we talk about equality of sexes, where women walks shoulder to shoulder with man in every sphere, there is one sphere where they still are the weaker link, the damsel in distress, trying to avoid their share of blame. If we come to think about it, what part did Indian government cannot come to terms with, they (government) here are challenging the basic laws on which sex is based. It takes two to fall in love, two to form a couple, two to get pregnant and certainly two to be involved in a sexual act which can be coined as adultery. A man flogging the dolphin while looking at his neighbor’s wife is hardly considered as adultery. 

I am not against womanhood, if it were to me I would keep all the sexy ladies out of prison, but this is high time when women of India rise up (after taking a sip of tata tea- jaago mahilaon jaago), instead of asking for reservation, a separate line, seats in DTC, a whole coach in metro, it’s time for them to accept their responsibility, to stand shoulder to shoulder with man in the court of law.

In France, a wife guilty of adultery is punishable from minimum three months to maximum of two years of imprisonment. The husband however has the discretion to end her sentence and take her back. Our laws are on the line with the laws of England. Even in England adultery is not a criminal offence, but doing so in India would give shiv sena another reason to attack the gonverment, even if almost all of them have tasted the fruit of infidelity.

All I ask from government if not abolish adultery, then at least bend the law and blend in the feminine flavor.

For all the men out there, my advice, hold your horses, why commit adultery when you have a beautiful wife at home, who loves you more than you can imagine.

And if you do slip now and then, just make sure her husband never finds out ;)

                      Christmas Song

Holiday season is here......and soon our lives would be filled with snowflakes. Christmas is all around people ans it's time to share some of the best Christmas memories and Christmas songs. Type in your favourite Christmas memory and song and blend in the holiday spirit. Merry Christmas.

Oymyakon

Oymyakon

It’s December and I am happy with my hot chocolate, cozy blanket and my small apartment, and why shouldn’t I be: it’s winter and it’s home. But at the very same time when I am sipping my hot chocolate, in a land far, far north from here, a mother is dressing up her son in two pair of gloves, thermal underpants, three pair of socks, three layer of clothing covered with a 1500 dollar overcoat. Yes, our very own Russia or oymyakon (precisely) where temperature goes as below as -60 degree Celsius.

Nobody leaves their home unless they absolutely have to, a place where it takes 3 days just to dig a grave, to bury your loved ones (god bless, if they die in winter). Why would anyone want to live in a place like this? Haven’t they heard about the paradise, which lies outside the boundaries of oymyakon. A world full of corruption, hatred, crime and hunger but free of permafrost.

Why not just migrate like birds do, migrate to a warm place and feel for once the nakedness on your skin. A privilege of walking the streets with just your boxers on, a privilege of driving a car on a proper concrete road, a privilege of skinny dipping.

Economically the place survives on the few weeks of farming season that nature graces them with. A coal mine that provides them with two meals a day and still they spent their winters in a debt, as with an average income of 600 dollar, it’s not easy to afford a 1500 dollar overcoat.

Life comes to a standstill when you are living in a place below the freezing point of water. Your whole body freeze but the antidote is in you. Your heart.

What binds the people of oymyakon together is not the huge economic perks, food, beautiful ladies and certainly not the weather.

“It’s Home.” said a 40 year old Amilya dressing her son under five layers of thick clothing.

“It’s my home, every day I feel like I belong here just like my parents did. It may take hours to get dressed but this is where I want to be. After all home is where the heart is, home is where we belong.”

More than a friend!

MORE THAN A FRIEND

Life Love Friendship sitting there on each vertices of a triangle. A triangle that can never be equilateral because one side will always be longer, one side will always be short; one side will always be in between. So what does one choose?

A lifelong friendship, a friendship that turns into love or live a life where one longs for that friendship or long lost love. What is more important Love or Friendship?

A friend of mine once said “you can never be friends with someone and not fall for him/her”. I disagreed. I was wrong, cause one time or another your knees will buckle, your heart will skip a beat and you will be back in your cave listening to Cyndi Lauper and Air Supply, you will be kariokeing just thinking about him/her. So where does the friendship go? What are the signs that distinguish friendship from love? Where is this line of control?

We are obligated by blood but a friend is a stranger, a stranger in the beginning who becomes so dear so near that you pour your heart out, you let your guard down and let him/her in. The best part of friendship is you can get out of it any moment you want. The hard part is to get in, to let someone in your life- the pinnacle of your triangle.

Love is many a splendid things. It’s not a verb, noun, adjective or adverb. It’s Love. Love is the butterflies in your stomach, the skip of that beating heart, love is the lyrics of not just a song but ‘our song’, love is your red, ever wondered why a heart is always red certainly not because of the blood, the red is your blush, your smile, your tears, your emotions ripping out of your body, your soul making its first appearance. Love is red, red is love.

So the question still remain, Can we spot the thin line between love and friendship (if there is any)?

I will be there, to wipe the tears off my friend’s face but I will do the crying for my love. I will be jealous of my friend but never of my love. A friend is someone I wish to go Jurassic park or harry potter with, love is someone I wish serendipity, Moulin rouge to happen. Friendship takes time on the contrary love sometimes happen on the first site. But in the end there isn’t much difference between friendship and love as one thing might lead to another.

Truth is scary. Coming out to your friend is the scariest part because if your love is one sided as it is in most of the cases you will end up with one less friend.

There are people who found their best friend in their love. They are the lucky ones as they can confine their fears, their dreams, their hopes, their failures in just one person. A friend of mine who is one of the lucky ones said

“I am happy because I don’t have to look for a friend/love anywhere because she is right beside me, we may be miles apart but a single moment with her even on the phone makes me believe that I don’t give a shit about this world, I don’t give a shit about failure, as long as I have her, I am a winner.”

But life’s not a fairy tale, life’s a bitch.

Girls are complicated, they would give you all the signals but they forget that boys are hard headed, the upper section thinks about math, football, sex, booze, sex again, career, booze again, cig, sex again. How the hell can they tell the difference between love and friendship? How would they know that they are behind enemy lines?

And this brings us to another category; A is in love with B for 14 years but could never gather the strength to say those three magic words because there love is one sided, A valued B’s friendship. In the end there is no love, there is no friendship either, there is just goodbye and Theodore boone. This was the classic example of what I call “love fool”.

But A here is quite a charmer, he fell in love again but this time he knows better, because the moment he realize that he is on a one way street, he backs out. He cannot be Just Friends anymore.

For how long, will this go on. It is a one way street; first friendship, then love and finally life (a happy life). But what if that friendship goes so strong that you don’t want loose that one person you want to spend your rest of your life with.

What is more important love or friendship, can they be the same person or do they have to be different to make things less complicated, can your friendship stand at the altar, not on a altar of love but on an altar of sacrifice.

The billion dollar question remains “How can you be friends with someone when every time you look at them all you think about is how much you really want.”

Today is the day

Today is the day my life begins, 

Today I become a citizen of the word 

Today I become a grown up 

Today I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents, accountable for more than my grades 

Today I become accountable to the world, to the future, to all the possibilities that life has to offer. My job is to show up wide eyed and willing and ready, for what? I don’t know, for anything for everything.

To take on life, To take on love, To take on the responsibility and possibility 

Today my friends our life begins and I for one can’t wait……..

A mystery

We all make mistakes that’s varies from as small as tiny specks to mistakes that can rock a mountain and there is nothing to be ashamed off as we are only humans and we aren’t perfect” but what’s the range of this ‘mistakemeter’- one mistake a day,two,three,once a week, it all depends on our mind accepting and admitting that mistake we have made. There’s a lot of difference between a folly and what I have been talking about, I am talking about mistakes that we keep hidden safely in our brain or heart. If you think carefully and deeply enough you will find that there will always be one dark spot on the white sheet there always be one mistake that you haven’t shared with anyone. That’s the silver painted surface of the mirror so where does it go how long does it remain hidden? A bucket overflows so does you. May be you will utter it in stupor or may be when you are extra sober. I made a mistake and I pay for it till today every morning every day of my life I try my level best to masquerade the fact that it ever existed. So ask yourself what are you masquerading about? What is it that you desperately want to admit? Sitting on it won’t make it disappear what you need to do is either to move on (accept it and live with it) or fight it. So which one is better?