Thursday, March 31, 2011

Patiala Calling

Patiala is not just another city, situated in the south-east of Punjab; it is one of the princely states also known as the city of newspapers. Just 65 km from the capital city, Chandigarh, it is no less than a jewel in the crown of Punjab.

Known for its art, monuments, cuisine and hospitality, this city is a perfect holiday destination. Home of many eminent personalities, Patiala is the most peaceful city of Punjab, this statement is not backed by facts and figures but my personal life experiences from my four year stay in Patiala.
Patiala is the perfect blend of culture and art, a relatively young city on the shores of becoming the next best thing.

World renowned Patiala peg has become a synonym for a whisky glass filled to the brim. Patiala peg which is said to be 50% greater than a normal peg has found its rightful place on Tantra t-shirts, Bollywood songs and in the hearts of people around the globe.

Rejuvenate your taste buds with Patiala’s toothsome, flavoursome, delicious cuisine. Here is a list of Patiala’s finest eating joints, let your taste buds go gaga over Patiala’s finest delicacies.

·         There is no better way to start your day than a garma garam Paratha. Patiala’s version of “parantha walli galli” can be found opposite to Rajendra Medical College or near the Bus Stand.
·         A huge glass of Kanwal lassi, will tranquilize your senses. The thick, creamy, sweetened lassi is the second best thing in the world. The sheer size of the glass follows the classic example of the Patiala peg. With myriad number of flavours to choose from, there is something for every tastebud. Mango, banana, strawberry, peach no one can have just one.
·         Those with a sweet tooth, the famous Jalebi walla at the Goushalla Road is a must visit.
·         Summers are incomplete without Milk shakes. Fruits shops near Atank in Adalat bazaar are the best in the business. Patiala’s trademark of huge glasses continues with half glass filled with cashew, pista and badaam.
·         Cholle bhature at historic sherawalla gate are always a delight.
·         Patiala 22 No. Pathak, is the buzz spot of the town. What makes it more special is the ‘Bombay Paav Bhaji Walla’, the peak hours begin around 7:30 and by 9 it’s all over. Be the early bird or wait in a queue. The aroma of paavbhaji will mesmerize you and your grueling stomach.
·         The first best thing in the world: Chawla’s boneless cream chicken with rumali roti, and believe me their rumali roti will put your handkerchief to shame. The skilled cooks and their ingenious style of bread making creates finger licking cuisines. Make space for some delicious fruit cream. For those who already have dinner plans, I will suggest a quick bite of their reshmi kabaab.

Green and beautiful Baradari gardens with their fountains, huge trees you can climb on, joy rides for children, flower husbandry are worth a visit. A walk in the park will clear all the dueling thoughts in your mind.

The best way to see the city is by travelling on rickshaws, there is nothing extraordinary in rickshaws but the ride is priceless.

The buck stops here in Patiala:

Phulkari, traditional Jootiyan, Patiala salwaar, colourful Parandas, Bangles and Chunnies embroided in Gold thread, things a master card can buy. The local markets of Patiala lie in the heart of the city, Adalat bazaar, annardana chowk, are abuzz with activity since early morning. When it comes to apparel Patiala has an ethnic blend of new and old, traditional and modern, a long lasting tradition of salwaar and phulkari mixed with the latest brands who have found their abode in this young city.

Patiala with its cafe’s (CCD), hookah joints (Nawabs), fast food chains, local markets is all set to become a big city with even bigger hearts.

If you are coming from far off places reaching the princely city can be difficult as direct connectivity to the city is limited, but Ambala just 54 km from Patiala is a hub of connectivity with connecting trains and buses from nearly every part of the country. Round the clock bus services from Ambala and Chandigarh to Patiala are easily available.

Finding an abode is never a problem, you can easily find guesthouses, reasonable hotels near the bus stand or railway station.

For those who are ready to throw in some extra penny, the Baradari Palace situated near baradari gardens is a perfect place to crash in.

The best season to visit Patiala is Feb-April or October-November. Mid November and mid March collides with Thapar University’s (Patiala’s engineering college) Cultural and Technical fests, the star night is an attraction which can’t be missed. Be it a weekend trip, a weeklong vacation, you can’t ignore the Patiala Calling.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Spring Connection

Spring is the season to express yourself and let your emotions run wild; there is no better way than dressing your skin with the latest fashion. In today’s impatient world, nobody gets a second chance; the first impression is always the last.

Things that can score you a few points are hanging in your closet.

Spring is the season to shed the extra load of sweaters, jackets and woolens. A brief window from March to April separates the biting cold from scorching summer, presenting us with a whole new set of fashionable attire thus giving us another reason to go shopping for the latest fashion Couture. For all those men who live for fashion, here is a guide to shine and sweep ladies off their feet with your killer dressing style. A list of what’s Springlacious this spring:

Go Classic.

No more jeans, there is nothing sexy than a man in chinos. The 100% cotton provides you with utmost comfort and the textured colours blend with the festivity of spring. Cuffed hem at the bottom in a contrast colour is icing on the cake. Showcase those sexy legs throughout this spring with hem cuffed bright coloured cotton shorts.

Hold on to your urge to buy baggy khaki chinos; their sheer size gives a feeling that someone else has been doing all the shopping for you. The pleated chinos are a strict no-no this season.

Shoes are a man’s best friend.

It’s too early for sandals, but never too late to add sneakers to your spring collection. From Lacoste’s high-end sneakers to affordable converse; they are available in every size, shape and colour. Break the spell of the typical black, white, brown and grey; show some spring spirit with a colourful mix of green, blue and yellow.

Get your hair in the game.

Nothing is static; hairstyles come and go every other month. Cool hairstyles are always in vogue, but choosing the right one is the toughest part. You have to get it right the first time; otherwise you would be stuck with a horrendous look for the whole month.

Your hairstyle has nothing to do with your clothes, it has a direct connection with your face; your jaw line, features, the texture of your hair and last but not the least the size of your head. Whatever you decide to do with your hair this spring, end the long lasting spell of spikes. Spikes and UPA fell short of spark this year. Be a gentleman and go for a medium cut with side partition (left or right).

Greatest Invention of all time: Mac 3 Razor.

Spring is the time to shed your shaggy beard and go full Monty....err....I mean clean shave. If you are planning a rogue look, at least keep your neck line shaved.

The Boy with the green scarf.

Scarves are here to stay.  Accessorize yourself with light weight soothing colours such as pista green, sky blue and peach orange. There can never be a better season than spring, not too hot, not too cold. Scarves are affordable, and they come in a wide variety of prints and colours.

I’ve got my eyes on you.

Generations may come and go but Wayfarer glasses are forever young. The plastic frame design wider at the top than at the bottom, gives you a look to kill for. Wayfarer have been the favourite of who’s who, John F Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn to name a few, it’s time to join the list.

Who’s holding your pants?

A sleek braided D ring belt completes the set of “Dressed to kill attire”. They go well with chinos and cuffed khaki shorts and the best part is they are easy to unbuckle.

Fashion is all around us, all we need to do is pick the right thing from our closet. I have, have you?

Dedicated to my friend from the west (A big critique of my fashion sense)

Thursday, March 10, 2011


8th march was celebrated as “international Women’s Day” with the pomp and show, which includes hordes of message to one’s female friends, big advertisements in newspapers, celebrities spreading the joy on television and free drinks to all the ladies in the bar.

When everyone was busy writing best wishes messages on facebook , sending bulk sms or getting their female friends drunk on free booze, I was busy smashing cars.

I did my portion of good deed. I smashed 4 cars. Every shattered window, windscreen and broken glasses are dedicated to all the women in the world.

I am a not a wild person (except in bed), I rarely resort to violence not even when provoked, what pushed me off the edge was this news in the newspaper a week ago, where a  girl was kidnapped in broad daylight by three boys in their teens, raped and murdered in the safe haven of their brand new Swift. The car was a gift to the budding teenager on his 18th birthday.

The sheer volume of such cases has made this incident a mere cliché. The tinted windscreens give such hooligans an added advantage. In India the norms for tinted glasses are 70% transparency on front and back and 50 % transparency on the side windscreens. India being a land of law abiding citizens, you can find plenty of cars with jet black windscreens.

Unlike any endangered species you can find these specimens at traffic signals waiting for the signal to turn green, right under the nose of the traffic police. You can spot them on roads, in parking lots or one might even be in your garage. I never understood the mindset of people installing dark tinted glasses. A dark film has no extra feature than a normal film. A normal film is enough to increase the efficiency of your air conditioner and there are ways to protect yourself from sun, using a SPF 75 sunscreen is one option, sunglasses are another, sunblockers can be purchased from street vendors for few bucks.

Impatience is the new patience and illegal is the new legal.

Cars today have become a safe haven for all age groups, teenagers who cannot find a place alone, make the backseat of the car; their love dungeon, married men indulge themselves in adultery in safety of their dark tinted cocoon. Black Tinted windscreens, Loud Deafening music, their is no stopping this evil machine.
In 97% of the cases the victim knows the offender; it is their known who took advantage of them. No wonder why so many cases are swept under the carpet and never see the light of the day.

A famous psychologist says “the tinted glasses, the enclosed space and the increasing speed of the vehicle provide confidence to the rapist; it provides him a feeling of control and safety.”

Tinted glasses are not the most draconian thing in this world only their merits are a little lopsided. They do protect us from damaging sun rays and salacious gaze.

Here is a four point solution to the problem:
  • Government to make stringent rules against tinted windscreens. The fine is just a meagre Rs 100, which is nothing as compared to the money spent on film(tint).
  •  Instead of writing tickets for dark tint, cars must be confiscated and the windscreens removed, there and then.
  •  Multi National Companies before employing the vendors, making sure that none of the vehicles have tinted glasses, as most of the crimes happen during the odd hours drop and pickups

And the best one is:
  •   Taking a pledge that every year on 8th march you will smash at least one dark tinted car, time to give something back to the society.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What's on your mind?

I can proudly say that I am a product of ‘The 90’s’. I grew up in an era of rugged jeans, short length t-shirts, one night stands, ipod’s, itouch, orkut, twitter and Facebook.

Nothing is private and personal, not even your thoughts, because the moment you log in, you are asked to speak out your mind.
Easy accessibility to net let you carry your world with you.

Sitting on a pot and taking a dump, “What’s on my mind? - I shouldn’t have had that kofta last it comes.....Boom Boom Boom!!!”

There was a time when I use to send friend requests to far off places or people, my school friends, college friends, people at work, people I have met only once and even to people I have never met (sexy chicks with minimal clothing in their profile pics). The race to have more facebook friends was in gear. There was no stopping me. The number of your facebook friends was directly proportional to your popularity status.
Today I spend an equal amount of time, not to send new friend requests but to hide friends from my facebook wall. Am I not social anymore? Or have I started making faceenemies(my bad)?

I am amazed by our (humans) ability to misuse everything. What absolute drivel, facebook status has become today. This amazing man (marc Zuckerberg) gave us a platform to speak our mind, to share our thoughts with the world out there, with people sitting miles apart and connect with everybody in real time on a single wall. But after all we are only humans who can’t keep anything sacred for that long and thus starts the abasement of “What’s on your mind”?

Writing a facebook status is no rocket science. A 7 year old can do it. But is it a job well done? Once you type in those words, your thoughts will travel faster than the speed of light and will show up on the screen of hundred’s as notification on their mobile, ipad, iphones, blackberry, and before you know it, the damage is done.

Past couple of nights out of sheer boredom I took a closer look at all my friend’s facebook statuses. With a bachelor’s degree in electronics, I couldn’t decipher the cryptic language in quiet a few. Even Robert Langdon would jump off a cliff looking at such divine cryptography. So without further ado let’s see, what kind of facebook status abuser you actually are.

The Musician:

They are those who will flood you Facebook wall with lyrics of every song they listen to. Music is my bridge to terabithia. Sometimes the lyrics are so inspirational, that you have to share it with the rest of the world. But why the hell would people put “Sheela ki jawani”, “Munni Badnam hui”, “Tujhe dekha to ye jaana sanam” as their facebook status. It’s way over my head.

Avoid this as your facebook status: “pyaar tumhe kitna karte hain.....tum yeh samajh nahi paoge,,,,jab hum naa honge toh pihrwa,,,,bolo kya tab aaoge..............mora saiiyaan moh se bole naaa..........”

The Day Queen and King:

We don’t want to know how proud a mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, boyfriend, girl friend, son or daughter you really are. So putting up status like below is a social disaster.

Avoid this as your facebook status :  3yrs old: "Mommy, I love you". 10 yrs old: "Mom whatever!" 16 yrs old:"My mom is so annoying"! 18 yrs old: "I wanna leave this house". 25 yrs old:"Mom, you were right". 30 yrs old: "I wanna go back to my Mom's house". 50 yrs old: "I don't wanna lose my Mom". 70 yrs old: "I would ...give up EVERYTHING for my Mom to be here with me". You only have 1 Mom. Post this on your wall if you appreciate & love your mom.

I love my mother and the first thing I did after reading this status was give my mom a Big hug as I don’t need a facebook status to tell her how much I care.

The World is a happy place kind:

In 18th century Alexander Bain invented clock. What we don’t need is a facebook status telling us if it is “good morning”, “good evening”, or if it is time to hit the pillow. Why do you have to tell half the world about it, unless you are telling us, whom you are sleeping with today!

The “Who is john galt?” type:

I feel like going on a killing spree after reading their facebook status.
  1. "Don’t ask me how I am feeling today, cause I won’t be able to lie.” “I have been broken in the mirror for so long.”   
  2. “Riding on a wave of self-loathing. If only you could understand.  None of you ever will”
  3. Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai :) .........   
  4. Unable to understand what this anxiety is for........... ~ anxiety is over the broken condom? (if only I could comment)   
  5. its too late to apologize...its too late  ~ why would i apologize, you were  horrible in bed so i broke up with you, get over it! 
  6. hardest monday morning ever! ~ honey it’s called morning wood.

And the Oscar does to: m loving it................. :) :) :) ~  The blow job you gave me yesterday.

Etymologically imbalanced:

They are the short and simple kind. They will write just one word in their status. Rest will follow in comments. Some examples are as follow:
          1.       “Car”
          2.       Hatred!!!
          3.       Sky
          4.       Sex

It feels like I am in kindergarten again, A for “Apple”, B for “Boy”, F for “Your facebook status sucks.”

Originality Crisis:

Hollywood is suffering from it, bollywood is suffering from it, sharukh khan is suffering from it, and so are you. Be original, it’s not that hard. Close your eyes and think, think for 60 seconds and I am sure you will come up with an original facebook status to put on your wall. Be original because it says “what’s on your mind?” and not “What’s on status shuffle?”.


The next time you feel like showing patriotism show it on the streets, instead of a facebook page. How can “Happy republic day” be on someone’s mind?

The Ugly Cupid:

They are the Grinch who stole Valentine’s day.

Avoid this as your facebook status: “”You” is everything i needed........(your girlfriend name goes here)”

Mood Singer:

What the hell are you smoking out there? Get a grip.
Avoid this as your facebook status:
      1.       Irritated.....Frustated.....Need a Break.
      2.       Nostalgic.
      3.       I miss you.

They didn’t know:

I can’t blame them, it’s not their fault, they didn’t know about cricinfo. Updating their status every other second, so their friends who have no access to television, radio, or like them haven’t heard about cricnfo, can know the score.

My Life sucks type:

“Confused.....Don’t know where this road leads!!”  , well looking at the status , this road will lead you straight to the ‘facebook lame status’  hall of fame. World is despicable, cruel place to be in, if you want to survive, show how confident and full of life you are and not how insecure, confused, sad, pathetic you really are. If you are feeling that way, pick up your phone, no silly, not to update your facebook status but to call your best friend (jumsumtak is on my speed dial).

Trying to pull the Mubarak:

Dis is time to bring about d revolution-india against corruption...long live india”  
~ are you trying to pull off what i think it is!!!

The 21st century Mother Teresa:

This status is close to my heart, not because this comes from my high school sweetheart, but this girl never cared about physically challenged people. Facebook can change people.

Avoid this as your facebook status:
 Physically challenged children are not sick or gross. They only want what we all want, to be accepted. Can I make a request? Is anyone willing to post this and leave it on your status for at least an hour. It is Special Education Week and this is in honor of ALL children made in a ...Unique way

The Blah!
They are beautiful people, not everyone can surmise all they want to say in just three words:

“Blah Blah Blah”

Why on earth you want us to know?
  1. “Feeling so lite nd relieved after talking to papa.... :)”  ~ Releasing gas would have done the trick 
  2. screwed up!  ~ aage se ya peeche se.
Can someone explain!

Fools and fanatics are always certain of themselves, but wiser people are full of doubts

Fake orgasms, not Facebook Status:

You may not be the creative one among your friends, but be wiser. Even if you are doing a copy paste, don’t make it so obvious. Do go through the below status message because they might have end up on your wall sometime.  
  1.   Life is more strict than a teacher, A teacher teaches a lesson and takes an exam But life     takes an exam and then teaches a lesson... ~ is it a tongue twister.
  2. The reason why men were made before women is because they had to make a rough draft before perfection.
  3.  Alcohol does not make you FAT - it makes you LEAN ... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.
  4. It's not that I hate you...Put it this way if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

A mashup looks good in songs, culture but not in language and certainly not in Facebook status.

Gota head back to Gurgaon tomrw.......yaar office kyu banaya hai logo ne.....ghar par baith kar kaam 
nahi ho sakta kya ......................~ I checked 7 dictonaries but couldn’t find Gota, is it Arabic?

I fell asleep, somewhere between the 3rd and the 4th line:

Dear God,
Please give me strength to pay my Income Tax, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Customs Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, Property Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, Water Tax, Professional Tax, Road Tax, STT, Education Cess, Wealth Tax, TOT, Capital Gain Tax, Congestion Levy etc etc etc. And don’t forget Donations, Bribes, Chanda etc. If I have some money left after that I will do business.
Sincerely, an India
~ Bravo

A salute:

Accolades to my two friends: jumsumtak and my friend from far west, as they fall in the category: “Something right is on their mind!”

After going through the list, I realized I am the king of status abuser, so who am i to judge others because the moment we accept the Friend request, we do so in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, to love, to cherish till something better than facebook do us apart.